Finding growth on the other side of fear at Kahdalea and Chosatonga
Experiencing homesickness is not only inevitable at times, but it is also relatable for almost everyone. Whether you are coming to camp for the first time, attending your first sleepover with friends, or heading to college, the feeling of missing home or craving familiar comfort is natural. And good! Missing home means you’ve been loved, and that’s a beautiful gift. Our challenge is to appreciate and cherish that love while simultaneously not letting it hold us back from the exploration of new adventures and gifts that lie ahead in the unknown. The only way out is through!
I went to Camp Kahdalea from the age of 8 until I was 17, give or take a few years in between. My first summer, all three of my siblings attended Kahdalea and Chosatonga for five weeks, and my mom was even helping out around camp a couple of times a week. What excuse or reason did I have to feel homesick? Probably none—but I was a homebody.
I missed the comfort of my bed, the air conditioning, and my dogs. I missed the idea of not having to do hard things. I missed swimming in water where you could see the bottom. I missed having friends who already knew me, so I didn’t have to worry about making new ones. All of that was embraced in what “home” felt like for me. And that is exactly why I needed camp.
At the time, I didn’t realize how detrimental and paralyzing comfort could be for my personal growth. If you never push yourself to do hard things, you will never know exactly what you are capable of. For example, if I were always content with just participating in dance classes as a child (which I was not great at, being tall and lanky), and if I never expanded my interest to try sports like volleyball, I would’ve never discovered my deep passion for the game. Volleyball became a place where I could fully express myself, an outlet to process anything I was holding within, and honestly, just flat out FUN. It was unknown, hard, and awkward at first. But I kept showing up for practice. I started playing in my driveway at home. I started making friends. Eventually, it became my new comfort zone.
Camp is the ultimate “Volleyball Practice” for life.
Once I realized how much confidence I gained from sports, I realized the same logic applied to camp. If we always stay in the familiar, we will never discover the uncovered parts of ourselves. We will never know how many friendships, memories, career paths, or adventures we are missing out on. As Will Smith once said, “God places the best things on the other side of fear.” So, how do we help our campers get to the other side?
How We Handle Homesickness at Camp
At Kahdalea and Chosatonga, we don’t try to ignore homesickness; we manage it with intention. Here is how our staff helps your child move through those feelings:
- Action Over Dwelling: Homesickness feeds on boredom. We keep campers engaged in activities, from wilderness skills to arts and crafts. When the mind is focused on the next adventure, the anxiety of missing home fades.
- Connection: Our counselors are trained to spot the “quiet” camper. We focus on integrating them into their tribe immediately, facilitating introductions and helping them connect with their peers on day one. This is possible for us with a camper to counselor ratio of better than 3:1. Every week, every single camper is mentioned by name in our staff meetings so no child’s struggles go unnoticed.
- Validation, Then Redirection: We validate their feelings—it is okay to miss home! It means you have a home worth missing. Then, we gently redirect them toward a goal for the day, an activity they are looking forward to, or a new friendship that has started to blossom.
How Parents Can Prepare for Launch
If you are a parent preparing to drop your child off, here are a few ways you can help set the stage for success before they even arrive:
- Avoid the “Pick-Up Deal”: Try to avoid saying things like, “If you don’t like it, I’ll come get you.” This prevents the child from fully committing to the experience. It gives them an escape hatch that prevents them from pushing through the initial discomfort to find the joy on the other side. It will be new, it will be unknown, and it might be scary at first, but quickly relationships will develop, self confidence through new skills will grow, and your camper will have a sense of achievement they never thought possible.
- Practice Independence: In the weeks leading up to camp, encourage small moments of independence. Managing their own morning routine or sleepovers at a friend’s house can build the “I can do this” muscle.
- Keep Goodbyes Short and Sweet: Long, tearful goodbyes can sometimes make a child feel guilty for leaving. If you can, send them off with a smile and a confident, “I know you’re going to have a blast, and I can’t wait to hear about it.”
To the campers and parents reading this: Push through the hard moments. Know how capable you are. The only way to discover the best version of yourself is to say “Yes.”
