A few months ago I found myself standing on an alpine precipice, my snowshoes plastered with ice and snow and my face covered to shield my skin from the powerful winds at play. I was surrounded by friends I made at camp; some friendships were fairly new, some dating back 5, 10, 15, even 20 years. This was another CKC Staff and Alumni Reunion and spiritual retreat – reveling in the gift of shared life, intentionally engaging in enriching adventures, and all the while seeking some spiritual growth together. This is the good stuff 🙂
I have found this to be true: friendships from CKC go deeper and last longer than those forged in nearly any other space.
This has been a great theme in the lives of many camp people I’ve had the joy of knowing throughout the years. Camp friendships escort us, buttress us, and delight us constantly as we share life together and navigate its many channels and challenges. Many friends from camp go on to move to the same towns, marry and build families together, and depend on these friendships for support when life gets tough.
Why? Why does camp, offering only a few weeks of overlap and shared experience out of the entire year, sometimes create friendships of greater durability than those created in school or university settings?
There are likely many reasons why sturdy friendships emerge from our valleys, but here are some reflections that may shine helpful light on the matter:
- An Environment of LIVED FAITH: Hypocrisy erodes relationships, while integrity serves as a foundation for strong relationships. At camp, there is mutual accountability naturally safeguarding the beauty of the living faith in the environment. With everyone in the room agreed to AIM HIGH, a deep sense of trust is felt and appreciated in our CKC family. Relationships are built on trust. We cultivate it with the sunshine of good examples, ready moments of prayer, and daily chances to reflect on God’s Word. This can bring about the best in someone, and that makes it easier for others to see the good in them to fall into a fun and authentic friendship together.
- FUN – Camp, very intentionally built for fun, is a space where laughter comes easily. It is easier to love others when life is lighthearted! Our very motto, “Have Fun!”, encourages our campers and staff alike to take themselves lightly and to delight in this day, in the present moment, together. Friendships forged in fun can overcome many challenges. Which leads us to our next point!
- Overcoming Shared Challenges Towards Noble Goals – For campers and staff alike, there are many opportunities to grow into a servant’s heart at camp. For a staff member, the mission is clear: sacrifice for the sake of the camper’s growth – how can I love this camper in a way that they KNOW they are loved? For a camper, this call to service is a response to the core values shared at camp, and also to the example they find in their staff. Service, for a camper, might mean cleaning someone else’s dishes on a trip, volunteering to sweep the van after a cabin night, covering your friend’s chores before Morning Watch and making sure their bed is tidy while they’re on a trip, or spending some of your free time writing “airplane letters” to your friends and cabin mates before they leave on closing day. Often, new and adventurous environments create space where we problem solve as a team in order to do some concrete good for our neighbor. This breeds a spirit of self-forgetfulness, as opposed to self-aggrandizement, and this is a winning trait when growing friendships! Friendships forged while sacrificing for others are built on a firm foundation indeed, and “treating others as more important than ourselves” reaps great fruit!
In addition to the reflections above, I would add one more insight for today’s world. Camp is an increasingly rare place where there is truly default quiet space, free from technological invasion.
An Unplugged and “Quick Dopamine Deficient” Community 🙂 – In Anne Lembke’s wonderful book, “Dopamine Nation”, she posits that the average American is now addicted to quick, or fast, Dopamine. Dopamine is a chemical active in the human brain involved in drive, motivation, learning and reward. It assesses pleasures associated with our actions and helps your brain discern behaviors worth repeating. A quick search online reveals that “fast dopamine usually refers to quick, high-intensity rewards—like endless scrolling, gaming, junk food, or constant notifications. These give rapid hits of stimulation, which can make slower, real-life activities feel less interesting by comparison.”
Summer camp can be a great detox! How, exactly? Well, because, naturally, 1) there are fewer instant digital rewards and distractions, 2) fun comes from friendships, games, savoring the natural world, and earned achievements, 3) activities like arts and crafts, team sports, long hikes and earning mountaintops reward patience and focus, 4) face-to-face socializing is more emotionally nourishing than any quick online interactions and helps a developing mind, to use Jonathan Haidt’s language, attune to their social surroundings more effectively, 5) after time away from constant stimulation, ordinary things can feel rewarding again.
So camp doesn’t remove dopamine, but it helps “shift your brain from chasing rapid stimulation to appreciating deeper, steadier rewards“. Doesn’t this sound delectable given our collective addiction to screen based entertainment and communication??
I think Anne Lembke is an important voice for our time!
There, I’ve done my best to nail it down, though there are surely more reasons. The beauty of the natural world, these lovely mountains, must certainly help as well!
Peace be with you, and happy Easter season!
