In this brief post, I’d like to celebrate the simplicity that comes from time spent in the wilderness and away from cell service, wall chargers, and the like. I’d also like to give us all permission to release ourselves from the pressure of constant connectivity. Tempted as we are to document everything digitally and upload our faces onto various online profiles to show our progress or whereabouts, there is something to be said for radically embracing the present moment and committing our whole self to “memorizing” the present without uploading pics for proof. This used to be the norm. Now, increasingly, living an intentional “digital minimalism” is a discipline. What was once commonplace now feels like swimming upstream.
…”the hail of irrelevant stimuli to which our modern life seems increasingly to subject us…[and] the pressure and temporarily satisfying narcotic of intense busyness in outward occupations – these all seem to make us bent on distracting rather than on gathering ourselves.”
Douglas Steere
Here’s a story to show more exactly what I mean. Recently, I was sitting in a restaurant near a local pool after the nearby schools got out for the day. There were dozens of elementary through high school aged kids hanging out waiting for their parents to come pick them up. I was struck by the near complete intoxication with hand held devices among all age groups. The kids, even little ones, were around one another but they were not with each other in any meaningful sense. They were watching videos, taking selfies, locked into a screen with earbuds, or just silently scrolling by themselves.
This made me a bit sad. As I surveyed this scene, I thought about how many potential friendships might not be developed deeply in this group of kids. Since much of the time they spend together is thoroughly distracted by their individual devices, they are essentially isolated from opportunities to risk knowing someone else and being known in turn. What sorts of relationships and opportunities are lost because so many of us are spending hours every day on a screen? What also frustrated me was my instant conviction that I also justify these sort of mindless, self-entertaining, connectionless habits in my day to day. Isn’t it true that real, physical presence and in-person touch and interaction trumps digital “connection”? There are positive digital connections to be sure (facetiming my family comes to mind), but why does the preponderance of research suggest overwhelmingly that the most “connected” generations of all time feel the most isolated and alone on an individual level? Why are we less happy than we’ve been in the past? When the creative potential is removed from boredom and our “wasted” time is spent on unnecessary online curiosities or unfruitful video searches, what depths are being missed in the human heart a few feet away?
These aren’t just my reflections. There is a certain crisis in the mental health of our youth that stems from these new digitally dependent ways of relating to one another. Even the U.S. Surgeon General has recently taken action about it.
As sad as I was seeing all those beautiful children together but not interacting, playing, or talking with one another, I was also personally convicted. Am I not increasingly guilty of whipping out my phone without much thought for striking up a conversation with the person next to me? In the grocery store line, at the airport, or in any situation where I consider myself threatened by boredom or a conversation with someone I do not know I also find myself hiding in my hand. Am I not also saying with my action that communing with the device in my pocket is preferrable to the human person, the eternal soul, next to me? I am guilty of sacrificing the creative potential of boredom to the self-entertaining tendencies of smart phone immersion.
Check out some stats from Jonathan Haidt’s substack:
While a bit shocking, I find these stats helpful in understanding just what we’re losing when we isolate ourselves from one another. As a culture, when we nurture a sense of entitlement towards self-entertainment at all times and at all places, perhaps we incrementally lose a desire to “do the work” or cultivating meaningful relationships.
Now, entertaining ourselves isn’t all bad! There is a need for unwinding, for authentic leisure and relaxation in life. But why is it that I feel depraved, empty, a little soul-less after a monster scroll-sesh on a smart phone? Probably because I know deep down that there are better, more fruitful, or more meaningful pursuits to give my time to. I am guilty of preferring the dopamine hit of idle phone-diving to my love for song writing, great books, time in the outdoors, and even time with my family and my young children. This is something I know I want to grow in.
Back to my encounter with the kids at the pool-side restaurant. As I saw these wonderful kids lazily indulge in their screens, I felt an urge to recommit myself to the mission of camp. I needed to get serious on a personal level to create a space in my work, my family, my friendships, and my apostolate apart from the digital onslaught of the modern world. There was an upswing of gratitude in my gut that there are concrete actions we can take to build beautiful spaces where we can breathe without the artificial pressure our phones place on us. How important it is for friends to be together in a true and total sense, in a free and undistracted way! The screenless freedom and friendships camp gave me growing up as a camper are so important to me in so many ways, and I am keen and eager to share with the rising generations the beauty of a “phoneless” life, or at least phoneless friendships, adventures, and a screen free spiritual life.
We are on the edge of a precipice as a culture. We aren’t exactly sure how our new found hyper-connectivity will impact us or our culture in the long haul, but we’re flirting with more and more extremely powerful technologies that certainly will change the way we connect in the future. Surely many of these tools will bring about great good in the world! Even still, my hope is that we, as a people, can continue to celebrate the simple joys of human life, especially the foundational human and developmental joys surrounding childhood!
What sort of joys am I speaking about? Screen free family meals, games of tag at birthday parties and after church, trips into the mountains with friends, moments spent together in worship and prayer, unsupervised free play where parents let the children govern their own games, inside jokes between classes at school that don’t involve phones, boys and girls learning to interact in natural and everyday ways, laughter bubbling up out of times of shared boredom, spontaneous adventures born out of great conversation, dreams that stem from opportunities to “waste time” together… you get the picture. This, crazy to think, was regular life pre 2011. Let’s be sure to go on the offense with creating a culture we’re excited to occupy!
Thanks for bearing with a few passionate words defending childhood from a fellow phone addict. Let’s restore a play based childhood! I’m grateful to be a part of a simpler existence through the work of Camps Kahdalea and Chosatonga. We hope to pitch in to give kids today a real community to be a part of. A community with noble aims and deep roots, risky play and outdoor adventures, freedom to choose their own path, to ask life’s great questions in an undistracted, single-minded environment, and to wholeheartedly, radically embrace the gift of the present moment and the people in our presence.
5 Things I’m Using to Balance Screen Use at Home:
- BRICK: I’m using this awesome thing called a Brick. Ever heard of it? Maybe the best purchase I’ve made in the last year. It’s a device that allows you to choose which apps, websites, social media, or search browsers you can selectively block. You can lock or unlock your selection by scanning the physical brick. It’s brilliant because you can not unlock them without this physical key. This allows you to go to school, work, or prayer time and not even be tempted to go to youtube or whatever else tempts you on your phone. We’ve even started putting them in the Counselor Rooms at CKC so our staff can take advantage of them too!
- PHONE JAIL: My wife and I bought a little wooden basket on pinterest that hangs on the wall by our front door. We call this “the phone jail”. When we enter the house, we charge our phones in the phone jail. This means that we don’t always have our phones on us and we have to stand up and walk to the front door to use our phone. We’re admittedly not perfect in our practice, but this cuts down on about 50-60% of my phone use at home. It also encourages us not to bring our phones where we sleep.
- OLD SCHOOL LAND LINE: We bought a land line. It’s worth the $17 per month to have a phone without a touch screen nearby.
- GREYSCALE: I turned my iphone screen to greyscale. This helps me detach a bit from my screen since color is key in the dopamine release connected to screen use. It also makes my phone less attractive should my toddlers see me using it.
- SABBATH DAY: While we are not perfect in our use here as well, we have followed the advice of Tom Neal and have begun attempting to have screen-free (or at least reduced screen interactive) Sundays. By doing this, we get better time together and accept God’s invitation to rest one day each week and focus on the truly important things. Like I said, we’re not perfect here, but we definitely have benefitted from our attempts to practice this.
- BONUS: Have you ever seen the video “Look Up”? This is worth a watch or rewatch for inspiration.
We hope this “brief post” (haha) helps some of our camp families and their communities connect “the real way”, as the video above invites. Would love to hear your thoughts on this as well. Let me know what y’all do to mitigate screen use in your lives and experience – adam@twofuncamps.com
