“Find a sleepaway camp with no devices and no safetyism. Many summer camps offer children and adolescents the chance to be out in nature and away from their devices and the internet for a month or two. Under those conditions, young people attend fully to each other, forming friendships and engaging in slightly risky and exciting outdoor activities that may bond them together tightly. Avoid camps that are essentially summer school, with academic work and internet access, or camps that do not provide children with any communal responsibilities. Try to find a camp that embraces the values of independence and responsibility. If possible, send your child there every summer, from third or fourth grade through eighth or ninth grade–or all the way through high school if they want to transition from camper to counselor. Bonus points for any camp that promises not to post pictures every day on its website. Summer camp is a great opportunity for parents and children to get out of the habit of constant contact and, especially for parents, constant reassurance that their kids are okay.”
Jonathan Haidt, PhD – “The Anxious Generation”
One of the many joys of hearing Dr. Jonathan Haidt speak recently was learning more about what makes the human heart so dignified and special. Haidt leads his listeners to this point by grouping various examples into three categories: fragile, resilient, and antifragile.
In the fragile category, he includes the example of a wine glass. When the glass encounters resistance, even slight pressure, it will shatter. He then compares the fragility of a wine glass to the resilience of a plastic cup. When a plastic cup falls to the ground, it may not shatter but it will not be made stronger by hitting the floor.
Unlike many of the fragile or resilient things in the world, the psyche and musculature of a human being will not grow without encountering resistance. This phenomena is called antifragility.
The experience of growth is usually, its fair to say, an uncomfortable experience. An Olympic athlete must endure incredible struggle in training to be allowed a spot as a competitor. A classical pianist must commit thousands of hours to study and practice before hushing audiences with uplifting melodies. Our immune systems need exposure to stressors to grow resilient, as do our minds, hearts, and bodies. Another example of this would be allergen exposure. As the father of a 6 month old baby girl, our physicians have encouraged us to rub peanut butter on our daughter’s gums from time to time. Without this small exposure to a foreign entity, her immune system may not develop the necessary tools to process peanuts.
Human strength, of course, has its limits. Working your way up in weight in gym workouts is prudent. Otherwise, taking on more weight than you can handle could leave you injured. Still, for the human being, resistance is necessary for growth. Discovering the edge of your limits and facing this plainly is imperative. This antifragile characterization is also true for bones, trees, and children.
Our activities at Camps Kahdalea and Chosatonga speak to the truth of human antifragility. Human development requires learned and earned mastery. You can not simply have a prize without earning it, and you can not achieve the best trips without putting in the time to prepare and to master certain skills. The whole system of activity progression is meant to help our campers learn that steady progress towards their goals will pay off in huge satisfaction, and this understanding of the value of working towards a goal is healthy and helpful for life ahead!
One brilliant example Dr. Haidt uses to further illustrate antifragility is the palm tree. Palm trees can weather hurricanes and high water better than almost any living organism. However, Haidt shows that studies have been conducted in which palm trees are grown inside a green house. When a palm tree is grown in this safe and sheltered manner and then placed outside in the elements, it cannot withstand even mild winds before it is blown over. What is the difference between the mature palm tree grown in a green house and the palm tree grown on a Caribbean beach?
The principal difference is that the tree grown outside has grown strong in direct proportion to the resistance it has encountered in its lifespan. The antifragile nature of the palm is evident here.
Haidt writes, “Palm trees are antifragile. Early bends cause scars, then another wind comes, and it cracks and scars some more, and as the palm tree reaches its full height the tree has cracked and scarred so many times that it can withstand category 5 winds.” Isn’t the human heart also like this? When we experience heartbreak of any sort and we live through the tension of experiences that stretch us, we are then that much more likely to endure similar strains and stretches in the future with the grace that was birthed from enduring the struggle.
As Haidt proves on his substack, After Babel, children across the world are experiencing a severely difficult season. Social media, the decline of a play-based childhood, and increased polarization in our society have all played a part in the sharply rising levels of anxiety, depression, suicide, and loneliness in our populace, especially our youth! This being the case, it’s no wonder parents are increasingly careful to raise their children in safe, secluded environments. However, the zealous desire to protect our children can actually harm them when taken to extremes.
Haidt suggests that one temptation of American parents in the last 30 years has been to overpromote a culture of “safetyism”. Creating hyper-safe environments means our children, our greatest treasures and the future leaders of our society, are not exposed to stressors and discomforts that would have been considered normal by previous generations. As a result, our children may not become as prepared to meet the demands of adult life and may be more prone to anxiety when life presents roadblocks, hardships, and inevitable struggles.
Haidt again: “What do parents do? We take our beautiful little palm tree, we pull it indoors, feed it, give it everything it needs to grow. It looks great! And then we roll it out into the wind. And the first breeze that blows, the tree cracks… All children are by nature antifragile. Just as the immune system must be exposed to germs, and trees must be exposed to wind, children require exposure to setbacks, failures, shocks and stumbles in order to develop strength and self-reliance…kids must have a great deal of free play to develop and they benefit from physical play, which has anti-phobic effects. Kids seek out the level of risk and thrill that they are ready for, in order to master their fears and develop competencies.”
So, what are parents to do? There are real stressors that may be too heavy for developing hearts to carry in the increasingly invasive digital world. On the other hand, there is the danger of becoming a helicopter parent which robs our children of the chance to problem solve and overcome adversity. Haidt’s recommendation is to embrace opportunities to do away with screen-based childhood and to restore the play-based childhood. Particularly, he recommends summer camp as one of America’s best tools for building children’s resilience, self-confidence, and autonomy.
We now know that play deprivation is a major cause of the teen mental health epidemic. These are some of the most important aspects of summer camping: the restoration of play-based childhood, the normalization of challenge, the solidification of faith, and opportunities for growth in grit and emotional maturation (sidenote: check out this article on the place of risky play in optimal childhood development).
So, how do we give kids real growth? As the old saying goes, “Prepare the child for the road. Not the road for the child”. We partner with our families at Kahdalea and Chosatonga to let campers encounter reasonable risks in a caring and challenging environment… AND to see that they come out stronger on the other side! As my wonderful mother, Anne Trufant, likes to say, “YOU CAN DO HARD THINGS!” And not only CAN you do hard things, but you should do hard things. Resistance is necessary for growth, and part of growing into a mature, thriving adult is learning to endure discomfort for the sake of noble goals. While the activities at camp are fun and attractive, they also can teach these values and promote this endurance and vision. Are your children prepared for the road ahead?
In a world of noise, social media, and screen dependency, where can a child honestly explore the possibility of God? This is where camp comes in.
One of the final threats Haidt identifies in “The Anxious Generation” is perhaps the greatest threat of all: the threat to spiritual development. In a world of noise, social media, and screen dependency, where can a child honestly explore the possibility of God? This is where camp comes in. Camp provides organic silence, natural beauty, Christian community and teaching, inspiring talks and testimonies, and organic opportunities for the growth of child-like wonder as well as prayer and reflection. How do we, as a community, attend to spiritual formation? When God places a child in our care, what responsibility do we have to cultivate openness to the great questions, the transcendent, and faith in God?
The journey of faith is a personal and interior one. This can not be forced; it should not be. A decision for faith is the most foundational choice of the human heart and this decision colors the very fabric of our entire being. At camp, we understand that character grown from enduring many everyday discomforts and navigating the ups and downs of human interaction may not cause faith per se, but it may create an openness of heart in which a child is more ready and willing to risk faith, just as the child has practiced little risks everyday. Embracing adventure daily might just till the soil in our souls so faith can take root more easily.
Humility, of course, is a necessary virtue for accepting challenges with grace. Humility empowers us to operate without a debilitating fear of failure, and failure is something we always risk when we endeavor new things! Humility is cultivated in families that show love to their family members regardless of their failures. This is precisely what we strive to do within our camp family. It’s not about performance at camp – it’s about loving the person and celebrating each person’s best efforts, regardless of failure or victory in any activity or endeavor. This focus on the dignity and value of each person regardless of performance, I believe, imitates God’s love. When a child encounters this sort of love from an adult, it helps them accept that perhaps God’s love for them could be real. If an imperfect adult loves them like this, then how much greater could God’s love be for them? Clearly, this is a good thing 🙂
As a camp staff, we invite the children entrusted to us to embrace humility, to dare greatly, and to become “leaders in goodness”. As a Christian summer camp, we must point to Jesus as our ultimate leader, our model in the faith. Jesus’ invitation to take up our cross daily is not for the fragile sort. We must pray for strength and accept opportunities to grow with joy. This, of course, is not easy! This sort of spiritual growth and formation requires effort, endurance, trust, and openness to God’s touch and guidance. Friendships and good humor help, too (see Mother Teresa pic above).
I will wrap up these reflections with a quote that has often been repeated by our CKC staff and camp community over the last decade. This statement was offered by Pope Benedict XVI in a speech to young people:
“The world offers you comfort. But you were not made for comfort. You were made for greatness.”
Khumbu Valley, Nepal.